FADE IN:
INT. BAR MARMONT, HOLLYWOOD - DUSK
TWO EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS OF THE SIMPSON'S MOVIE sit in a cozy booth sipping mojitos. It's all high fives and slaps on the back because the film's editor has just finished a rough cut of the new full length feature and it's brilliant. They know full well that the money will pour in upon its release. Nick Nolte is sitting alone at the bar having a quiet whiskey and mumbling to himself incessantly . No one seems to notice or care.
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- Man, that screening today was incredible. Just needs a little cleaning up and I think we have a blockbuster.
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- Oh I know, totally.
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- Where we at with the soundtrack? They'll need to edit that in next week. Right?
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- Yeah, Zimmer's got that pretty much wrapped up. You won't believe your ears. Guy's a fucking genius. It actually brought a tear to my eye, swear to God. It's like Chariots of Fire good, you know?
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- Ok (shaking his head slightly and smirking like he's just heard the stupidest thing ever), anyway, about the theme song. I want to go in a different direction with...
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- Dude, you can't dick around with that! It's like, a classic. The fans are gonna...
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- No, no wait. Hear me out for a sec. The things like 20 years old. It could use an update. You know, something a little more now, a little more, I don't know, edgy?
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- Edgy huh?
Glances over at Nolte and pulls a puzzled face.
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- Yeah, something the kids can relate to. Hmm, who could we get to do it?
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- How about Hot Chip? They're pretty popular.
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- Nah, someone bigger.
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- Ol' Dirty Bastard? That would be hot.
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- What, you gonna record it through a ouija board? He's dead you fucking idiot. Jesus, man. No, someone huge. A band everybody knows, everybody loves. They need to rock it... Oh, I got it! Green Day!
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- Ooh, that WOULD be awesome! Think they'll go for it?
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 1
- Dunno. But I got 5 million bucks that says they will. Seriously, I want you on the phone with their management first thing in the morning. We have to have 'em. But uh, here's the thing. We have to have this track done tomorrow and if I'm not mistaken, they're on the East Coast doing some awards show. You think we can just have them play it over the phone and we could just record it?
- EXECUTIVE PRODUCER 2
- I'm on it.
FADE OUT
In my head, this is how it all went down. How else can you explain it? What they've done is just play the Simpson's theme, but with guitars and drums. Any band could have played the exact same thing just as well. Why Green Day? If you were going to update the original Simpson's theme song, you would've thought they'd chose some artists that could truly add a special touch to it. Like Bjork, or The Super Furry Animals, or maybe even Beck. Hell, Weird Al Yankovic could have done something more interesting than this.
But I get it. Hollywood doesn't take risks. Marry the two biggest things you can find and it'll be an unstoppable force, right? So the safe thing would be to chose an ultra- famous band known the world over. A band who's sold a bazillion records. A band like Green Day. Then hype the shit out of it. In the end, it's just a wee theme song. Simpson's fans are going to love the movie no matter who's doing it. But what a wasted opportunity.
What next?More by Green Day? More reviews? More pop, or rock?
